Fear, anger, maybe even guilt are all overwhelming feelings of
loss but are normal reactions. At that
moment you find out you have lost someone, those feelings are helping
you to cope. You probably donít even realize it.
Our tears and memories are already starting the healing process. They
are helping us to grieve and relieve our anger. The hardest part with
grieving is the question why? Once youíve come to terms that you may not
ever find out the reason why and you allow yourself to feel those
necessary feelings, you will start the healing process. And that's what
bereavement coping is all about. Healing a deep wound in your heart.
Everyone grieves differently so donít look to someone else to tell you
how you are going to cope with this loss. You just have to be strong and
trust yourself and allow yourself to go through the stages of grief.
These are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.
You need to not ignore your feelings as this will only make the grieving
process longer. There is no time frame for grieving, some people take
longer to let go and others heal faster. But no matter how long it
takes, they both had to allow themselves to grieve.
Finding support after a loss is a good first step. There is no need to
go through this alone and having someone to talk to will help you to
release any bottled up feelings. Turn to family or friends for support.
Or if you are a member of a church, you may find having that spiritual
experience around you comforting. If you want to be around other people
who are going through the same thing as you, a support group may be a
good answer. And then of course there are therapists and grief
counselors to help walk you through the stages of grief.
Whatever you have decided is the best way for you to deal with
your grief, the important thing you need to remember is that you
are not alone. Reach out to people, and take the hand of anyone
reaching out to you. You may not see if at first, but there are
a lot of people around you who are willing to lend a ear or be a